


Bitty's Baking Saves Your Soul

by undergod



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 10:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undergod/pseuds/undergod
Summary: Based on this tumblr post: https://shitty-check-please-aus.tumblr.com/post/162908477661/au-suggestionsoulmate au where when you meet your soulmate, one of you dies instantly. the survivor must then make a journey into the underworld to retrieve your soul





	Bitty's Baking Saves Your Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [AU suggestion](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/307671) by shitty-check-please-aus. 



Eric Bittle waits in the long qeue for Chiron’s river barge to come back across the river. He’s finally made it to the front of the line, and is extremely glad that he decided to pack a literal five pounds of pies and pastries before he set off on his journey to the underworld. His friends Ransom and Holster had warned him beforehand that the journey would be long, and sadly too many people gave up on finding their soul mate because they were ill-prepared–they forgot to bring food and got hungry, or forgot a gift to barter the river keeper with, or forgot a bone to throw the three headed dog–and even though Ransom eventually made it to the underworld to bring Holster back to the land of the living, he admitted that he’d had to turn around at least three times for more supplies, and that was very inconvenient. 

In line, he meets a lovely,short haired girl in combat boots–“My friends call me Lardo”–who has brought a strange case full of odd weapons and set supplies, but no food. Bitty offers her a pork filled pastry when he hears he stomach rumble. She shows him her case. “I thought I’d give him options,” she says with a shrug. “That butterfly knife is very expensive, I thought maybe the death ferry operator would like that kind of stuff. But I also brought brought sketchbook and water colors just in case he needs some kind of stress relief.” 

He finds out that her soul mate died when he was introducing himself to her by an awfully awkward nickname–“Shitty”–and he’s already a huge pain in her ass, but she’d been charmed since their eyes met across the room earlier that night. In turn, Bitty tells her about Jack, who he’d met at a his friend’s fraternity party. It had been a pretty big mood killer when the hockey team’s captain’s soul left his body in the middle of a kegster. The hockey team had been pretty pissed, because while they were happy their captain had found his soul mate, they were pissed that he’d be dead for their semifinals. (Ransom and Holster gave Bitty a ton of tips so he could try to get the he captain back to life before the final finals. ) 

Chiron comes back across the river, dropping off a load of newly united soul mate pairs, and gives Bitty and Lardo an assessing gaze. Lardo offers her most valuable butterfly knife, but he takes to the sketchbook and pencils. Bitty offers death’s ferryman a meringue pie, and Chiron is so overwhelmed by the sweetness and deliciousness–“No one has brought me baked goods before!”“Oh sweetie, that’s a shame!–that he offers both of them a ride back with their soulmates free of additional charge. 

The dogs are a little bit more of an issue, if only because Lardo was fully expecting to fight them off with her multitudes of blades. Bitty has some meat pastries to toss to them and they eat it all up excitedly and let them pass. 

When Bitty and his new friend finally got to the underworld proper, they took some time to search for the soul mates. They end up finding Shitty and Jack together, bonding over hockey and dying at college parties. 

When Bitty spots his soul mate, his heart stops. Jack is just as handsome as he remembers, from having crushed afar until that fateful kegster where Holster introduced them. Their eyes meet, and they smile. 

Things are going to be just fine. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few days ago when [this post](http://the-undergod.tumblr.com/post/162966021835) came across my dash. It just called to me. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my first foray into Check Please! fiction!


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